🌿 A conviction that there exists a strategy where the needs of everyone can be met simultaneously
🌿 Violent communication is often the result of using manipulative or coercive language that induces fear, guilt, shame, praise, blame, duty, obligation, punishment, and/or reward.
🌿 Violent communication happens in speaking and listening (and in thinking, through self-talk or imagined conversations).
🌿 Non-Violent Communication is communication in terms of Observation, Feeling, Needs and (non-coercive) Request. Any communication outside OFNR is violent by definition.
🌿 Violent Communicaton includes (non-exhaustively) any [moral] judgement and accusation
🌿 To be “orthodox”, almost all labels and adjectives are violent, even saying “Donald Trump is a crappy leader” is violent with this definition. The NVC way: Thinking about our Trump, I feel concerned. Wanting Clarity and Understanding and Joy and Safety, would I be willing to do anything about this?
🌿 in terms of Syntax and Semantics and Logic,
Only the following are valid sentences
I see/hear/feel/touch/imagine X
I feel F (where F is feeling which can be experienced in isolation on an island, hence, “I feel betrayed” is out)
Needs (universal needs as per Maslow)
Request: only semantically equivalent to “Would you be willing to do R; Please only say Yes if you can do so with the joy of a little child feeding a hungry duck. ”
🌿 NVC-complicant statement has very few adjectives
🌿 I hypothesise that an NVC-compliant language is full expresive like any natural language
🌿 “Siam is a good friend” is out — Thinking about Siam, I feel joyful. My needs of Connection, Learning and Companionship have been met.
🌿 Let me now define VC which is a function which rates the degree of violence from 0 to 10
VC ( Coercion) = 10
VC (Judgement) = 5
VC ( nvc-compliant statement) = 0
🌿 NVC-Strategy-Score (NSS)
Consider all universal Needs: e.g. Mutuality, Worth, Identity, Love, Self-Efficacy, Trust, Fulfillment, Well-being, Automony, Harmony, Wholeness
Let n be a member of Needs
Let s be a member of Strategies
NSS(s, n) = -5 when “I’m convinced that s is ultra imposible to meet n
NSS(s, n) = 0 when “I’m neutral whether s can meet n or not”
NSS(s, n) = 5 when “I’m convinced that s is ultra likely to meet n”
NSS(s) = sum of all NSS(s,i)
