How to Overcome Procrastination with Nonviolent Communication (NVC)? v.2021–03
(draft)
🙋♂️ In the language of NVC, what is procrastination seeing it as a judgement?
NVC practitioners often call out that procrastination a judgement. Procrastination is associated with “badness”. Let us now translate “procrastination” to the language of feelings and needs. In that case, we may say that a feeling of guilt and anxiety has arisen while thinking about the fact that we have not completed a consequential task.
🙋♂️ In the language of NVC, what is procrastination seeing it as a strategy?
When seen as a strategy, procrastination aims to cope with the challenging emotions and negative moods induced by specific tasks — boredom, anxiety, insecurity, frustration, resentment, self-doubt and beyond.
🙋♂️ In the language of needs, what does research show about procrastinators?
Research shows procrastination is common when people are worried they will not perform well. In other words, they have performance anxiety. That would entail the needs for acceptance, safety, competency. Connecting with, say, an empathy partner would likely fulfil those needs.
🙋♂️ In the language of needs, what more can we say about procrastinators?
Autonomy
When we say, “No, I won’t, and you can’t make me.” We may recognise and appreciate the determination and persistence that a part inside us brings to a situation. We may see that it is the part that longs for freedom, choice and autonomy so that we get to decide what we do and when and how.
Rationalisation from Childhood
We may link this deep longing for freedom with our childhood experience from a psychodynamic and experiential perspective. We may check within ourselves whether we have a sense of rage at external demands being forced on us.
We may check if there may be some anger that this act of rebellion is expressing. We may check whether it was the best option as a child that enabled us to resist and express frustration indirectly because elders would not have welcomed being directly angry.
Rest
There may simply for a need for Rest.
Peace
Considering the alternatives
Playing video games would meet the needs for fun more than, say, doing homework or taxes.
Empathy
Our protesting self may very much want to be heard.
🙋♂️ How may we reframe procrastination?
We may reframe “procrastination” as a sage teaching us about the pain that we experience internally when task-associated negative emotions arise.
References
Spam from here
“People engage in this irrational cycle of chronic procrastination because of an inability to manage negative moods around a task.”
Procrastination isn’t a unique character flaw or a mysterious curse on your ability to manage time.
